I'm here; not absent, not avoiding. I'm here now, I've been 'in the now' lately and it's all good. I've also been writing more in my journal - pen & ink - than online. I've kept journals since 1995; I'm on #8 and nearly to the end of it. Journal writing is a healthy way to get your thoughts out, to get things off your chest, to remember good times, to share times in your life well after you're gone if you choose to. Being in a 'funk' and getting out of it is completely up to you (or me), it's our individual choice to be happy or not. Being happy by choice doesn't mean that you have to love your current situation. Choosing happiness in a less than desirable situation helps your to move forward and through the situation. Hanging on to sadness just pulls you in deeper. Doing something about your sadness puts change in motion. It may be a long road but standing still won't bring you anywhere but down. Being here now, being present where you are at this very moment is where you're mean to be...but not meant to stay. Finding goodness from this moment, each being in the moment, helps you to grow, appreciate, cultivate and release. It's okay to look back but just for a moment; it's okay to look forward - so to see where you're going, but be sure to see where you are, be where you are. Give yourself time, love, hope, promise, and truth. Just be and it will all come together as it should. Bringing sunshine into your day - yours truly, Dawn
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Lately I've been in a funk - something that happens more often than I'd like in the past six years. Yes, winter has a lot to do with it, but it doesn't have everything to do with it. When you are in a good place in your life, you're generally happy and can handle small mishaps gracefully; when you're not completely satisfied with you situation and choices you have made, small mishaps are tougher to handle due to the 'snowball' effect. When you've learned the tools you need in order to overcome hardships, personal frustration, poor decision making and such, it feels like you have the keys to the kingdom - the only thing is you need to use that key gently and timed just right; you can't just bust out (or in) re-staking your claim to independence. If you're like me, you hate hurting anyone's feelings, you hate creating 'waves', and confrontation - in general, you have put most others ahead of yourself, ahead of your own needs, wants, desires, wishes, hopes, dreams... If I've learned anything in life, it's that everything changes and nothing changes. Time changes, weather changes, moods change, cities change, health changes, children grow, people pass...but situations surrounding us don't often change - especially in our favor. Those changes are up to us to make. We are the ones who must do the work to make positive changes for ourselves. No one person can make us happy; it's up to us. No one can break us unless we let them - don't let them. I know this little funk I'm in will pass, but I also know it will return unless I make the changes necessary to stop the gray days and the mind haze. I'm not sure what my first step will be, but I know that I need to make it happen if I want to be in a happier place in life. Life is way too short to stay idle. No one will take care of me but me. And, no one will take care of you but you. I learned long ago to treat others as I wish to be treated. This "rule" is in many different writings the first to my knowledge being in the bible as: "do unto others as you would want others to do unto you". For this reason, I have always treated others with kindness, compassion, caring, respect, and careful attention. I try not to offend, ignore, hurt, degrade, take advantage of or commit any other negative actions against others.
In my lifetime I have also learned that I have trusted those who I shouldn't have, I gave and still give the benefit of the doubt, I forgive too easily, I try hard to please others, I put others' needs before my own, I go out of my way to help and make happy, and I keep repeating these same actions and I get the same results; I get walked on so to speak. When I turned 45, 7 - almost 8 years ago, I made a promise to myself that I was going to finally begin living my life on my terms, I was going to be kind to others as I naturally am but I was also going to be kind to myself. My head was ready for that change but my heart and gut said otherwise. Now at 52, almost 53, I have come to the conclusion that no one will treat me as I treat them, they will keep taking whatever I offer - selfishly. My realization is that others want me to treat them as they treat me. I feel so silly thinking I had it right all these years - maybe. People get to a point where they become broken and mentally exhausted and emotionally drained or beaten; I've come to that point. I have seen too closely that life is far too short to not live it fully. Life doesn't wait until we're ready, it doesn't wait until we overcome whatever is in the way of following our dreams and going after them. Life is too short! I have made a promise to myself again, to start living my life as my own individual, as I have longed to live it; by playing hard, working hard, being kind as I am and always will be but not being taken for granted anymore. Do you have similar or different experiences that you wish to change? What are they? In everything we do, in everything that happens to us and every choice we make there are lessons. It's up to us to finally learn the lessons and move forward through our lives making better the things we have gotten caught up in previously. It's up to us personally to not repeat the same things and expect different results. It's up to us to grow from our experiences. It's up to us to move forward a step at a time and to only look back for reference to see how much we have grown and to make better choices moving forward. To the light within you ~ peace. And so here it is, a brand new year!
Welcome 2016! I can see great things coming ahead and not so great things left at the curb of 2015. I find it funny that one year ago I was looking forward to 2015 but as it progressed, way too fast in my opinion, and came to an end, I welcome the opening of a brand new chapter. I'm not quite sure of every change I plan to make but I am quite sure of a few. I was never one to make "new year' resolutions - I made them daily, weekly, monthly but this is a year for major changes. If I don't change, who will? I have learned that the only one we can change is ourselves. We can wish, hope and pray but in the real world, we are only in control of what we do personally. One of my favorite persons of all time, among several, is Einstein and one of his quotes on insanity: "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". I'm changing my way of doing things; changing my life. I will stumble, I might fall, I will keep getting up and moving forward to where I want to be. Only I can feel what I feel, see what I see, dream what I dream and be what I plan to be. In the same respect, only you can feel, see, dream what you dream and be who you wish to be. I'm taking a leap into the unknown and getting to know what it can do for me. Taking that deep inhale...........................and letting it GO! Ahhhhh.......................... |
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My name is Dawn. I'm nutritional & lifestyle coach, hairstylist, home cook, writer, blogger, mother, friend. Archives
April 2016
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