Over the past 6 years I have been anxious and unsettled with self-inflicted stress. I say self-inflicted because whatever actions I'm taking to create change and a better life aren't working. I have let situations follow me to my present state of being. This is how it happened. Just over seven years ago I went through a long-term relationship break-up which was too closely followed by a so-called friendship with an individual that I wish to keep unnamed and undescribed for reasons being they don't deserve to be in my life ever again. These two situations took a toll on my emotions and the latter took a toll on my mind, body, spirit and self-worth; my spirit was most definitely broken - damaged. After finally shaking this situation out of my life, I took a nice breather ; I became calm and started getting to know myself for all that I went through in my life and for who I had grown to be. I felt peaceful for the first time ever. That peace brought me into 2009 and I was happy with who I was and where I was planning on going. I had come to an agreement with myself that no one will ever take care of me except me so I had better start giving a damn about myself - to the point where I was going to buy myself a promise ring . I have not done that yet but it's still in my plan. I have the exact ring picked out I just don't have the $$ to do it yet. Fast-forward to the end of month six of peacefulness, I met up with a high school 'date', whom I dated to two months way back when. We enjoyed each others company, though I stated without hesitation that I was not looking for a relationship; friendship would be enough for me at the moment. I'm not sure what happened to self-preservation but I let it go once again and moved away from the town I knew for 20 years to a brand new start with this person. It seemed like the logical thing to do even if it didn't have the feel of finally being home. This move brought on a whole new mixed bag of emotions. I lost the negative people in my life back there, (good!) but I also lost my friends, I lost my quick trip to the ocean, I lost my bearings, I lost myself again. Since then I have been trying to fill the space with schooling to be a nutritional health coach and starting my coaching business which has been very difficult. This slightly introverted and shy being feels cornered - trapped. This feeling brings on anxiety and sometimes a sharp tongue to the one person I see daily. I realize it's not fair and I'm sorry for lashing out; I'm working on improving. Most recently it has hit me that quiet seclusion is part of my growth and healing. God has given me the opportunity to breathe, to catch my breath, reflect and learn. He has given me the space to get to know Him and to grow my self-awareness. This time has been given to me to heal from my past and to unfold my gifts so that I may use them as I move forward. This time that I've been given is to be used to pay-it-forward in helping others. I'm growing and I have so much hope, love and God's grace. I'm here for you should you need me; just reach out! In love and light, Dawn
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Winter in New England is pretty unpredictable; weather in New England is unpredictable any time of the year as a matter of fact. As I write, snow is blowing steady and it's extremely cold outside. I'm finding it hard to embrace the thought of snow removal when the storm is over, but I try to keep my chin up. When being outside is limited because of the season, it's easy to feel sad, to feel lonely, to feel disconnected especially if you work from home. You find yourself alone with your thoughts and if you don't keep those instigators in line, they can get out of control. Keep yourself busy, there are no doubt many things you can do indoors that you put off in exchange for being outside in the sunshine. Save up for those sunny days by getting your inside work done now. Be still with yourself and feel how being in the moment feels. Set goals for yourself and list various ways you can reach them. Read the books you've been putting off. Start a new hobby or craft. See how it allows you to express yourself differently. Begin working on yourself - see how outside help (a coach like myself) can benefit your personal growth. Reflect on yesterday just briefly, look forward to tomorrow, and be in today; be here now. Be happy - Be grateful - Be hopeful - Be You Annual physicals - no one loves them but you don't need to dread them either. As a health coach, I walk my talk; I eat healthy and my physicals typically go without incident as was the case today. Sure, I could be a little more physically active but I'm on the right track!
The weather today is incredible mild for February 1st. I believe the thermometer in my car reached 54° which in my area is pretty nice. What little snow we have on the ground is slowly melting away although it's not too late for a major storm, I'll take what we have going on now. I've become less of a fan of snow in the past 6 years. Colder weather and snow also limits outdoor time, which I prefer to be outdoors moving than inside sedentary - not to mention the dogs prefer being outside as well. As the day closes, I'm deciding on another healthy and comforting meal for dinner the involves bay scallops, lemon, leafy greens and perhaps some type of whole grain such as millet or farro. Choose to be healthy. Choose to have guidance - drop me a line if you're interested in your own personal health coach; you can reach me at [email protected] |
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My name is Dawn. I'm nutritional & lifestyle coach, hairstylist, home cook, writer, blogger, mother, friend. Archives
April 2016
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